Parking Lot Etiquette

So I was being the nice person who grabs a couple carts that inconsiderate others have left in the crowded tiny parking lot, when my tiny cart to the left got slammed into by someone backing out of his space without looking.  I saw he had the backing lights on but wasn't moving, which is why I continued on my way towards the store.

Turns out that he was not the type of driver who looks before he starts to reverse.  I screamed as he ran into my left hand cart, and he was very apologetic when he got out of the car.  I joked, "I was wearing a bright orange coat!"  Which made his stupidity even more apparent.  Luckily I wasn't hurt, but his bumper was a bit scratched.

Thanks to my friend the tiny shopping cart, I was spared any serious physical injury.

It is good to have wheeled friends.

It is apparent that I cannot spell.

Once I took a closer look at the  name for my blog site, I realized that I cannot spell oxymoron.

Spell checking programs can, but when I am typing things into a small block on a web site without any spaces or punctuation, I am susceptible to making a think-o.

Yes, I did mean to type "think-o" my virtual audience members.  A type-o in my book is when you hit the wrong key.  I was not reaching with my right hand for the "y" key and mistakenly hit the "i" key.

Sure, they only have one key in between them, and they often make the same sound when pronounced, but I pride myself on being a pretty good speller.

[I also have a fairly accurate "smeller," which is why I decline to put my nose near anything when my husband starts the query with, "do you think this is still okay to eat...."]

I will close out this blog with commenting that maybe an OXI-MORON has something to do with acting like a spelling moron when you haven't provided enough oxygen to your brain....  Nope, spelling doesn't match with that either, but perhaps I have been putting too much OXI-CLEAN in my laundry lately.

Polar Vortex, schmolar moretext

Why do all the storms have to have some catchy names these days.  I realize that it is easier to track them if they have a handle (mostly for the twitterverse, it seems), but the 24 hour news and weather cycle is getting out of control.

I have probably complained out this already, but it never hurts to do so again, if you can be funny about it.

[borrowed from http://tribwxmi.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/viewerphoto_full1.png?w=692]

My understanding of the current chilly weather in my region is created by the jet stream dipping down farther south than it normally would during the winter months, sucking a huge cold front down towards my front door.  The barometer has not been nearly as low as I have remembered it offshore in the North Pacific, either while stationed on a military vessel or viewing forecasts from the comfort of my office in Juneau, as we tried to move the puzzle pieces around that very large body of water.

If you like spoonerisms, I guess you could go with volar portex, but that does not make much sense to me.  "Schmolar Moretext" is more my style.  Schmolar because many adults will be grinding their molars when bundling up their children or digging out their autos today, and moretext because lots of people with smartphones will be home today texting rather than sitting in their offices.

Of course the first responders will still be out doing their tough jobs during this frigid weather, so please slow down on the roads (or waterways) and give these folks a break today.  They are striving to keep you safe, so please help them to help you!

What happens to retired gladiators?

The National Football League (NFL) has not been using replacement referees this year, but there has still been a great deal of furor over many potentially bad calls by officiating crews.  The rules of american style football continue to change in order to protect the players, especially offensive ones.
[For those not as familiar with these sports related terms, the offense is not trying to OFFEND anyone, but their main purpose is to score points.  The defense can also do this, but unlike fútbol*, both team's offense and defense do not take the field at the same time.]

I agree with protecting these men from head injuries as much as possible, but it is certainly changing the nature of the game as I have known it as a spectator.  You cannot lead with your helmet on a tackle, you cannot hit people high, you cannot take out their feet with your legs (on purpose), you cannot horse tackle your opponent, etc.  Some of these changes are surely protecting players from potential career ending injuries, but they are also altering the game from a gladiatorial competition to more of a procedural exercise.

[borrowed from http://filmmusicreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/gladiator1.jpg]

The instant replay rule and slow motion technology is helping the officials to make better calls, but you can still get away with things as long as no official sees you commit the infraction.  Individual interpretations of the rules also wreak havoc with the flow of the play.

As a long time soccer player (25+ years) I only received one yellow card during all that time.  I executed a beautiful pop-up slide towards a goalie when playing center forward, and the referee apparently believed that scaring the opposing defender was worth issuing a yellow card.  Technically the call was "Dangerous Play", but since I never came within a yard of the goalie, I take issue with that call.  The referee obviously was a big 'fraidy cat, but there is no replay booth in adult club soccer, and arguing with the referee will usually just get you a red card, which means you cool your heels on the bench for the rest of the game.

The normal duration of an NFL game is over 3 hours, and numerous trips to the instant replay booth (especially since every scoring play is reviewed) may tend to make the game even longer.  Most of the reviews happen during the commercial breaks, but I still don't like them.  I have not decided what I think about the coach challenge flags.

As I was stewing over the fact that my local CBS affiliate was not broadcasting the Ravens v. Jets game, I saw a very humorous commercial featuring Ray Lewis and Brian Urlacher, two defensive players that I admire very much.

If you are interested, you should check out this youtube video clip:  xbox commercial

The two men depicted in this commercial take very different perspectives on how to best enjoy their retirements.  I can relate to this comical presentation of life after retirement, as I try to figure out how to accomplish this gracefully myself.
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*  I like to use the spanish word for what we Americans (the USA variety of people living in this hemisphere) call soccer, as it is spelled differently than the NFL product.

Poll tax

I voted today in my local city election, and one of the reasons that I did so was to see if they were going to ask me for my ID, which is not required.  After I filled out the voter poll form, they did indeed ask me for my ID.  I said I preferred not to pull such info out of my wallet, and the male poll worker explained that it would be much quicker if I let them swipe my Michigan Driver's License.

borrowed from http://butnowwhat.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/school-poll-results.jpg

I asked, "what are the options?"  and was told that I just needed to fill out the affadavit on the reverse side of the poll form, which I did as required by the nice ladies behind the desk.

I explained that I had been in the military for 20+ years and I did  not want to be swiped if it was not explicitly necessary.  The women typing my name into the computer thought I was funny, and the man wandered off to the other side of the gym, since he was supposed to me manning the scanning machine, not harassing potential voters.....

I voted, I did not have to show my ID, I was happy!!!

Yum!!

Roasted pumpkin and squash seeds are the perfect salty, crunchy, toasty snack - learn how to make 'em!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152314909894616&set=a.452150494615.237888.65398579615&type=1&relevant_count=1

Return of the falcon (sounds better than hawk, but is not taxonomically correct)

I was in my front yard yesterday, trying to remove the dead limb from a small tree, when all of a sudden there was a big commotion in the impromptu birdbath a bunch of robins and swallows had made out of uneven portion of the sidewalk.  I looked over just in time to see a beautiful grey bird swoop down and make a screeching sound, causing all the smaller birds to get the hell out of Dodge.  Not to suggest that my yard is the wild west, but there are a bunch of interesting critters that make appearances in my neighborhood.

[borrowed from Cornell, photographed/copyrighted  by Gerrit Vyn]

The most common are black or grey squirrels, redpolls, sparrows, morning doves, cardinals, wood peckers and the occasional possum, pheasant or rabbit.

In trying to identify my bird of prey from yesterday, I came across two websites which were helpful.  I a sure there are very more, but I only have SO much time to indulge in web surfing per day.  The better one was from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, and can be reached here.  Another good one is a more local page from the Illinois Raptor Center.  It has some good explanations, but does not have all the bells and whistles of the Cornell page.

The way in which I think this fits with the "Don't mess with me (or my friends)" theme is that even though the hawk was outnumbered at least 10:1, as soon as announced its presence the other birds undoubtedly knew who was the boss!