Polar Vortex, schmolar moretext

Why do all the storms have to have some catchy names these days.  I realize that it is easier to track them if they have a handle (mostly for the twitterverse, it seems), but the 24 hour news and weather cycle is getting out of control.

I have probably complained out this already, but it never hurts to do so again, if you can be funny about it.

[borrowed from http://tribwxmi.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/viewerphoto_full1.png?w=692]

My understanding of the current chilly weather in my region is created by the jet stream dipping down farther south than it normally would during the winter months, sucking a huge cold front down towards my front door.  The barometer has not been nearly as low as I have remembered it offshore in the North Pacific, either while stationed on a military vessel or viewing forecasts from the comfort of my office in Juneau, as we tried to move the puzzle pieces around that very large body of water.

If you like spoonerisms, I guess you could go with volar portex, but that does not make much sense to me.  "Schmolar Moretext" is more my style.  Schmolar because many adults will be grinding their molars when bundling up their children or digging out their autos today, and moretext because lots of people with smartphones will be home today texting rather than sitting in their offices.

Of course the first responders will still be out doing their tough jobs during this frigid weather, so please slow down on the roads (or waterways) and give these folks a break today.  They are striving to keep you safe, so please help them to help you!